Monday, November 12, 2007

Flipflopping Number Crunchers

NPD Group has reversed course on their policies regarding video game and console sales data. I'm really disappointed they caved to a bunch or whiny gaming bloggers. This changes nothing. You still need great analysts like myself to interpret the data. Based upon recent sales, here are my most recent predictions.

The Phantom will crush the PS3, XBox 360, and the Wii when it is released in the 3rd quarter of 2008.

The success of the Nokia N-Gage will blow the doors off the Nintendo DS.

Lonely gamers and hackers will finally unlock the hidden sexual content within Rockstar Table Tennis. It involves ping-pong balls. You can fill in the rest.

The Wii Fit will not improve any gamer's chances of getting laid. You'd have to leave the basement for that to happen.

Future versions of EA Sports Madden will not include any trading, player management, or player creation features. New rosters will be available as DLC for $60 or 6000 MS Points on XBL.

The Pachster has spoken. Thank me.

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