tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11905976257511869282012-02-16T07:34:40.357-08:00My word is money, bitch. Listen up.The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.comBlogger151100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-63666177452321135872007-11-28T20:27:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:15.350-08:00

The environazis over at Greenpeace have tried to bash Nintendo as an environmentally unfriendly company for their use of toxic flame retardant chemicals and plastics in game consoles. The tree-huggers also lambasted the House of Mario for, "no voluntary takeback of products, no information on banned products, no information on how the company communicates with its supply chain and no policy on

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-9324073903642770952007-11-28T20:10:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:15.558-08:00

Next-Gen.biz (a site that has most recently banned yours truly) has begun accepting submissions for the 25 people who've made the biggest contributions to the gaming industry this year.I want that award.The official rules stipulate that you can nominate yourself. I will, though I shouldn't have to. If you agree that yours truly, Michael Pachter, has made the greatest contribution to the gaming

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-85668852482969716362007-11-28T19:28:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:15.756-08:00

I'd like to congratulate Sony on their most recent sales numbers. It looks as if the struggling PlayStation 3 console may have finally turned a corner. Sales are up almost 300% since November 2nd. Soon, the could have an installed customer base large enough for 3rd party developers to make a buck if they haven't already left for greener pastures. Maybe, the gaming market can support a three

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-52798710444599848032007-11-24T22:11:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:15.936-08:00

Behold gaming's biggest douche of the year. His name is Gabe Newell. Gabe has created two games in ten years. How he found the time to create two games between meals is beyond me. They both happen to be called Half-Life. Half-Life is a great game, unless you happen to play it on a PS3.You see, Gabe and the rest of the peons at Valve personally handled the easier coding for PC and XBox360.

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-66276481912357250152007-11-23T18:19:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:16.110-08:00

I was reading Kotaku today. I don't read Kotaku for the news, mind you, I was looking for articles that reference yours truly. There was a post about this upcoming game Coolest Girl in School, an RPG for mobile phones. It teaches future leaders and maybe a few presidential interns how to "lie, bitch, and flirt" their way to success and a false sense self-esteem (the same feeling you get as a

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-60620321991376210102007-11-12T09:44:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:16.296-08:00

NPD Group has reversed course on their policies regarding video game and console sales data. I'm really disappointed they caved to a bunch or whiny gaming bloggers. This changes nothing. You still need great analysts like myself to interpret the data. Based upon recent sales, here are my most recent predictions.The Phantom will crush the PS3, XBox 360, and the Wii when it is released in the 3rd

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-72258689855145618222007-11-10T14:31:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:17.504-08:00

Preorders are now part of software entertainment DNA. There is no avoiding it. Publishers can no longer put their head in the sand, and in some cases, they are actively lobbying gamers. I'm a numbers guy, the top software entertainment industry analyst in the world. Show me the money. A good game to me is the one that sells 4 million in its first week of release. There is no other criteria with

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-6107079755868542232007-11-07T21:45:00.000-08:002008-12-10T09:14:17.609-08:00

I don't understand what everyone is so upset about. NPD Group has decided to stop handing out free ammo to gaming "journalists" (stupid bloggers) and save the goods for paying customers like Wedbush Morgan Securities and yours truly. Consider yourselves lucky they provided sales data for as long as they did.Why should you care how many fucking units the Wii sold in Turkey? The pointless bickering

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-23631009044749445852007-11-07T19:57:00.001-08:002008-12-10T09:14:18.067-08:00

The cold weather is making me nostalgic for last year and the opening salvo in the console wars. In a word, it was a complete clusterfuck. If you recall, hundreds of thousands of like-minded dickheads slept outside their local Best Buy/Circuit City or whatever waiting for a PlayStation 3 or a Wii. At the time, pre-orders were going for as much as $2000, and there was little doubt this played

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-70642329335700582632007-10-16T21:35:00.000-07:002008-12-10T09:14:18.616-08:00

Game companies are finally starting to recognize the value in creating games for the fairer sex and girls are one of the fastest growing segments of "casual" gamers. Publishers are responding to women gamers with sensitivity and maturity. Let's take a look at what girls like to play.Cooking Mama was created in Japan by Taito and published in the U.S. by Majesco. The latest version came out on the

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-8710581438873963702007-10-16T21:30:00.000-07:002008-12-10T09:14:18.754-08:00

Am I crazy or is ESRB boss-lady Patricia Vance a total MILF? I mean, I don't know if she's got kids or a husband, but I'm just saying, "I'd hit that." Anyone?

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-45781488231052758672007-10-10T21:45:00.000-07:002008-12-10T09:14:19.010-08:00

Thanks for being so damn gullible. I'm talking to YOU, hardcore gamers. You spend your time online hyping a game years before it will ever see retail shelves. You buy crappy games you don't want in the first place (i.e. Crackdown) to get an invitation to debug a glitchy beta. The industry used to PAY people to do that kind of work. Then you plunk down $5 or more, often for the overpriced "

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-86133625124740043572007-10-10T21:15:00.000-07:002007-10-10T21:45:48.934-07:00

There have been some high profile games delayed as of late. Grand Theft Auto 4, Unreal Tournament 3, and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, just to name a few. I could have predicted this a long time before the announced delays, but all the whining and crying on the blogosphere has made it obvious none of you know a thing about video game marketing.There's little incentive for a game to make a deadline

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-18004852991065230092007-09-03T20:32:00.000-07:002007-09-03T21:56:53.973-07:00

From time to time I find people looking for a nugget of knowledge from yours truly. I felt obliged to give an interview to one of those gaming sites. They're so clueless sometimes. I hope my time was appreciated. Best interview ever.Q: So what qualifies you to be a gaming industry analyst?The Pachster: I've been compared to Earl Dittman of Wireless Magazine and I think you would agree that's

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1190597625751186928.post-85587111645458219942007-09-01T21:02:00.000-07:002008-12-10T09:14:19.223-08:00

Wedbush Morgan Securities makes no claim as to the accuracy of what this douche says. His brother-in-law is like, banging the CFO's wife's half-sister or something. When he says something about video games, he's probably just talking out his ass. In fact, if you see him, just smile and wave politely. He's very very unstable.

The Pachsterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03844866798827362103noreply@blogger.com4